A Trucker's Tale – Staying Awake

Nov 19, 2025 - 6 months ago

My last college trucking trip was also one to remember. After having delivered a load in Illinois, I was dispatched to Indianapolis to pick up a load of pinto beans.

A Trucker's Tale by Ed Mkiller

At the bean processing plant, the dock foreman said, “Where’s this damned load of pinto beans going, North Carolina?” I agreed the load was consigned to NC, and I asked him how he knew the destination. He replied, “Cause that’s the only God dam people that eats them damned pinto beans!” He and his buddies must have thought this was funny because they laughed their asses off. I didn’t find a whole lot of humor in the comment, but hell, I love pinto beans, so maybe it is true!

I had to help the workers transfer 50-pound bags of pinto beans off their pallets, and stack them onto the floor of the trailer. At delivery, those bags were then placed upon the consignees’ pallets. (Strange, but true, but that’s another story.) The delivery appointment was scheduled in NC early the next morning, so after sweating my ass off loading the beans, I drove a few miles to a truck stop where I showered and got something to eat. (No, after humping those 50-pound bags, I did not order pinto beans.)

Twenty miles into the trip south from the truck stop, a driver called to me on the CB to inform me of a flat tire on my trailer. I soon found another truck stop with a tire repair shop. I was told that I might have to wait for several hours, because the hot weather was causing many truck-tire blowouts, and the tire shop was extremely busy. The tire shop’s estimate was correct about the wait time, because, sure enough, my spare tire was installed a couple of hours later.

While waiting for the tire to be fixed, I didn’t figure I could stay awake long enough to make my delivery on-time the next morning. I was having a conversation with another driver while having coffee, and when he learned of my problem, he said he had a couple of “truck driver pills” he could sell to me. Now I wasn’t so dumb that I didn’t know about Black Beauties, or RJSs, but I had never used any of them. Nevertheless, as Flip Wilson would have allowed, “The devil made me do it.”

As I headed south, it didn’t take too long to realize the “no doze” pills were beginning to work, because my mouth was as dry as a pinto bean fart, and I was smoking Camel non-filters like they were going out of style. Just before I crossed from Kentucky into Tennessee, a loud “POW” alerted me of another blown tire—this one on the tractor, and I limped several miles ahead into the Tennessee Welcome Center.

Unfortunately, my only spare tire had been used back in Indiana. This was the 1970s, which was a time when we had to use pay phones and phone books, and I spent a very long time, and used a lot of quarters trying to find road service. There was no tire service available at midnight, and the very best any company could do was to bring me a tire at 0700 the next morning.

With nothing to do until morning, I took my shower kit into the men’s room, where I washed my face and brushed my teeth. These were also the days before truck televisions, smart phones, or wireless internet access, so I decided to sleep until the tire-man made his appearance.

I crawled into the bunk and laid my head on my pillow. My eyes would not shut! The pills were doing such a fine job that I couldn’t have closed my eyes if I had used a come-along! I had nothing left to read because I had finished the book I had taken with me on this trip. I tossed. I turned. I became so fidgety that had to get out of that bunk because I was getting the “heebie-jeebies.”

There were several picnic tables sitting next to the sidewalk leading to the welcome center building. I plopped down on one and I struck up a conversation with practically everyone who stopped at the rest area. The summer weather contributed to the large numbers of travelling vacationers, so there was no shortage of people with whom to talk.

Unfortunately, it didn’t take too long for me to figure-out that about three-out-of-four of the men entering the men’s room didn’t really need to use the facilities, since they were there only because they were seeking the company of other men. Would you believe I wasn’t really happy by being propositioned a couple of times during the night? One guy didn’t want to take no for an answer, and he also would not get up from the picnic table when I told him I wanted to be left alone. I suppose he thought I was inviting him to my truck when he followed me to it, but he quickly ran to his car when I pulled my tire-thumper from under the seat. Actually, I kept it with me the rest of the night as I sat at that picnic table. Gladly, I did not receive any more offers for a good time. (Maybe holding that thumper was also the reason none of the vacationers talked with me anymore either, so I drank Cokes, smoked Camel non-filters, and walked around the picnic grounds by myself through these early morning hours.)

When it comes to places I have been when the sun rose, I can think of a helluva lot more picturesque settings than a Tennessee Welcome Center. The Black Bennie was doing a fine job of keeping me awake, and time was moving right along as I watched hundreds of vehicles enter and leave the rest area. Yes, they would be back on the highway in a few minutes. No, I was still pilled up and not able to do a damned thing except to watch them.

The tire service man arrived around 0800 that morning and put a new tire on the old rim. After he put the tire onto the tractor, I was finally able to complete my bean run. Yes, I learned several life lessons on this last run.

Ed Miller ([email protected]) has more than 40 years of management and ownership experience in the trucking industry. Today, he is a part-time tour bus driver, published author of “A Trucker’s Tale”, and regular contributor to Supply Post. He is a father of three and a grandfather of two, and lives with his wife in Rising Sun, Maryland.